BY: Deborah L. Mills
Whether married, single, young or old, disagreements are going to happen. No two people think exactly the same, we all know this. Yet it is still good free relationship advice. When differences of opinion and independent thinking lead to heated discussions and raised voices there are a few things that should NEVER enter the conversation. They only make things worse. Words spoken and actions demonstrated cannot be taken back. There are no “do-overs”. So please, don’t do these 5 things. Don’t tear down a lifetime of love among friends and family because of misspoken words that cannot be taken back. Attack the issue not the person.
1. Call names – fool, retard, stupid, dummy, idiot you should have known better. These things are off limits; they are degrading and should not enter your conversations.
2. Tell someone to shut up – No matter how you say those two words during a disagreement they will only add fuel to the fire, not helping to calm the situation at all.
3. Bring the other person’s family into the disagreement – you are just like your mother, if your father was around, you’re a mama’s boy, go get your big sister I’m ready for her too. This is way below the belt. You have now put the other person in a position to defend themselves and their family. They are going to revert to their corner or come out swinging harder than ever as a matter of protection.
4. Say you always or you never as to place blame– You never do anything I want. You never think of me. You always do your own thing. You know that is not true. Maybe 9 times out of 10, but always, that is a far stretch. Even when upset, as you are trying to prove your point speak the truth. Always and never are circumstances that rarely exist.
5. Say I hate you, never want to see you again, get out of my house – using such wounding words over a temporary situation isn’t a good idea. Once these words leave your mouth they may be forgiven by the other person but not forgotten.
Disagreements are natural, don’t avoid them. Own up to your part in past arguments and disagreements, then choose to make healthy choices that build relationships with family and friends. Demonstrate you care more about the person than your position.
December 12, 2013 //
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