by Taki S. Raton
Nationally renown authors Eric K. Grimes and Butch Slaughter will be the featured speakers Saturday, February 17, to discuss their book, "Why Our Children Hate Us--How Black Adults Betray Black Children."

Sponsored by the Milwaukee-based Kingdom Institute for Black Men’s Studies’ Kingdom Speakers Series, this now highly anticipated presentation will be held at the African American Women’s Center, 3020 West Vliet Street. Doors open at noon. The program will begin at 1 p.m.

Many scholars, thinkers, writers and community activists over the past decade have raised the red flag and loudly sounded the bullhorn on the plight, status, and quality of life of our children.

But there has been little to no collective response from parents, ministers, Black educators, Black aldermen, African American mayors, Black men, Black women or from Black leadership.

In the October 27, 2004 edition of the "Community Journal," an article on Bill Cosby’s visit to Milwaukee to North Division High School, titled: "Our children are crying, but who is listening? The actor, comedian and philanthropist said: "We marched for civil rights.

"We locked arms for the right to sit with White folks at lunch counters and to shop in their stores. We had these long sorry sad faces and cried and struggled, got hosed down and bitten by dogs.

"We went through all of that for equal rights; for the right to be with other people, to live next door to other people, to work with other people on equal footing; to drink out of White folk’s water fountains and to sit at the front of the bus.

"We did all of that for our rights. But who today are crying for our children? Who today are marching for our children? Who today are building for our children? Who today are building a future of our own for our children to proudly grow into and become absolutely magnificent from a Black/African perspective?

"Where is our Black leadership? They locked arms protesting and carrying signs for integration with White people. Where are they now?

"Where are Black leaders? Where are Black men locking arms for Black children? We marched and struggled for a future with other people. What about the future and well being of our young, of our communities, and of our people? Our children are crying," said Cosby. "But who is listening?"

That was three years ago. Our children are still crying. And we still are not listening.

And just who was supposed to build all this "character" that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. talked about on August 28, 1963 in his famous Lincoln Memorial speech in Washington?

"I have a dream that my four children on day will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I have a dream today."

But building character is not a dream. It is work. It is love. It is devotion to a past model and to a future becoming manifested within the behavior and vision of a people. Children should look at adults and see themselves--see their becoming.

Then, maybe again this may be the issue. Our children have looked at us--at Black adults--at our past (or lack of) and concluded that "I/we do not want to become you."

Our young people have to see, know, believe and love the best in themselves, in the best of what they have been ancestrally and historically, in the best of who they are now and in the best of us that which they can become.

Before they can see the best in themselves, however, they have to see the best in us--in our parents, in our Black adults, in our teachers, in our communities, in our leadership and in our future. Indeed, in order for our children to see the greatness in themselves, they must see the greatness in us. Only then can they realize the beauty of their own being, not someone to be brutally gang beaten and/or killed, but someone to be loved, cultivated, and praised--a reflection of their own godliness.

But we didn’t do that. Our children looked at us and did not get that godly reflection. Nope, they sure didn’t!

In the best example of what Dr, Joy Degruy Leary would term in her book, "The Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome," we collectively went in the opposite direction, followed the path and image of our former masters and instead socially integrated to become, as in the past, a reflection of somebody else’s reality.

History bears witness. We’re still "dreaming" and our children are still crying. But right now, they are also dying.

As a result of the neglect of our children some 44 years later after the March on Washington; as a result of our children not following us--and, more accurately, as a result of the failure of Black adults to give our children and past generations something of substance to follow--Chicago-based Black Star Project Founder and Executive Director Phillip Jackson, in the April 4, 2006 edition of the" Chicago Courier" newspaper, would report that our children are fighting a war amongst themselves and against their communities. In his words:

"Many Black children are out of control. They swear, fight, vandalize, challenge authority and exhibit overly aggressive behaviors. They have a reckless disregard for virtually any social norm, rules, or grace."

And the above description advanced by Jackson is where thousands upon thousands of our children are today because no one is listening. No one is responding to our children.

Our children are not being protected, nurtured, lead, groomed, character modeled, educated, or loved by us. And they, our children, know this and are acting accordingly and predictably.

This may be one reason for the continued planning of state and private prisons. Even other groups who look at the condition of our families and our communities, at our present course, have concluded that circumstances for Black youth, particularly Black males, will not get any better.

Via our lack of nurturing, development--and most importantly a unified vision based upon a collective sense of identity, purpose, and direction--it is indeed us who are sending our children into the abyss of the American judicial system.

We can no longer blame racism, White Supremacy or White people. It is not others who must change. It is us who must change.

Now that the context has been established, we can resume talking about "Why our children hate us."

In a recent Philadelphia "Tribune" article by staff writer Bobbi Booker, the author’s note that the title does not "single out parents or caretakers specifically," but African Americans as a whole, indeed our entire race for being irresponsible to Black children and to our future. Quoting one of the authors, the article reveals:

"This (book) is not about an individual situation, this is not somebody’s autobiography.

"This is about the collective of Black adults who have not done a good job defending Black children."

The authors add that Black people have not "resolved" many, if not most, of the past challenges that we have had with this country and with White people in particular and in our relationship with them and with this system.

As a result of such non-resolution, Black adults and children continue to be marginalized.

"So we run around looking like cowards all the time trying to get our children to fit into places where nobody wants them or do things that benefit other people.

"All these processes change Black children into something other people can use and our children pick up on that," says Grimes.

The February 17 presentation by the two authors will explore such concerns as how have Black adults contributed to the destruction of Black children? Why are Black adults and the Black community not protecting Black children?

Why are Black adults not taking control over the welfare and future of Black children?

Why are Black adults the only group in the world who let other people control the education, development, vision, and future of their children?

Why do so many young Black males feel that they have no future? What is the contribution of Black adults to the growing Black male/female prison population?

Why are our children killing each other? How soon will it be before they start killing us?

"Our Black children are very angry with us," said Grimes in the "Tribune" article. "They’re very disappointed with us."

He adds that Black children are at a place where they "are just tired of not being defended" by Black adults, Black leaders or the Black community.

"Our children are tired of us trying to tell them what to do when we haven’t proven that our words are valuable and that our actions are worth paying attention to," he concludes.

The authors note in their book that the tension between Black children and Black adults is beyond the "generation gap" and beyond "generational misunderstandings."

"This is an issue of enduring values. A matter of what’s important. Does anyone think for a minute that if we worshiped our children, adored our children, that our reality would look as it does?

"If collectively we loved more with our actions and less with our mouths, the Black world would certainly be a different place."

They add that our children "cannot afford the adults and leaders" that we have right now and that in discussions of survival, "it does not matter how you play the game but whether you win or lose. And right now, we are losing, royally."

For more than 20 years, Philadelphia native Eric K. Grimes has worked with Black youth, families, and communities with a particular focus on the issues and challenges faced by young Black men.

He earned a M.S. in Management and Urban Policy Analysis from the New School in New York City and a B.A. in Economics from Morehouse College.

Grimes also received a Certificate in Community Based Economic Development from the Center for Community Research and Service at the University of Delaware. He is founder and principal partner of SEED Concepts.

Butch Slaughter is a native of Chicago. He has served in a consulting capacity for numerous youth agencies and founded two Black nonprofit organizations.

He is a graduate of Chicago’s Quigley Seminary South; is a veteran of the United States Navy and a graduate of Lincoln University’s Masters of Human Service Program.

Slaughter is also past publisher of "Perspective Magazine" in Chester near Philadelphia, producer and director of the documentary "A Chester Story," and author of the book "A Nigga Tragedy."

The Kingdom Speakers Series format traditionally structures a lead panel for brief opening remarks pertaining to the focus of the discussion.

This presentation’s lead panel participants are Tyrone Dumas, Ifama Jackson, and Dr. William Rogers. Russell Stamper will be the afternoon’s moderator.

For additional information on the Grimes and Slaughter engagement; on their book "Why Our Children Hate Us" or on The Kingdom Speaker Series, contact Taki S. Raton at 933-1130.

A $10 donation will be requested at the door. Books will be available for purchase and signing. Refreshments will be served following the presentation.