Racial "Survivor" a bad joke, as are most TV "reality" shows

by Richard G. Carter
"It wasn’t lies, it was acting"--Timothy Dalton, "The Rocketeer" (1991)

Let me state unequivocally that I consider so-called "reality shows" on television the worst thing ever foisted-off on viewers in the history of this home entertainment marvel. Reality TV is so idiotic it has taken the medium to new depths of bad taste.

As a matter of fact, this slap-dash fare may be the absolute nadir of the electronic age. How anyone can watch such nonsense boggles the mind. It is stupid, moronic, witless, obtuse, inane, vapid, crass, asinine, inept, foolish, feeble-minded and stultifying. And more to the point, it is irrelevant. Think about it.

From repulsive, racist, lead-foot Lizzie Grubman’s putrid "PoweR Girls," to dumb-as-dirt Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie’s "The Simple Life" to "Being Bobby Brown," to "Growing Up Gotti," to the ditzy "Anna Nicole Show," to the foul-mouthed "Osbournes," to England’s "Watching Paint Dry," to "Survivor," this stuff sucks!

Luckily, limited space prohibits me from naming countless others--from A to Z--that have fouled the airwaves since the inception of this creepy concept. But, as usual, there are exceptions to every rule. So before proceeding, I must pay homage to the one-and-only reality show that, in my opinion, was worth the time.

I refer to "Black. White." This groundbreaking, documentary-type reality miniseries ran weekly for six weeks last March and April on FX cable. And it was riveting, must-see TV--especially for White viewers. In case you missed it, here’s the deal:

Through use of innovative make-up and prosthetics, a Black family of three becomes White and a White family of three becomes Black. The idea is for each to experience life in a new way to better understand how the other half lives. And from the start, it was clear that the Black Americans were far more racially aware than the White Americans--just as in America today.

In the program’s final episode, the Black father exposed his clueless teenage son to multi-media images of the historic Black civil rights struggle, and a former gang-banger drove the kid through a gang-infested neighborhood. While quietly lecturing him on the downside of a life of crime, the boy’s facade crumbled a bit and he began to see the light.

In the end, "Black. White." was a relevant, compelling look into an aspect of life in which countless White Americans have no interest--typified by the White father. But all who watched with an open mind were skillfully exposed to America’s rampant racial dilemma.

Now from the best to the worst and most misguided. I refer to the latest example of reality TV nonsense--a new "race wars" version of "Survivor"--which premiered to anemic ratings September 14 on CBS. In this one, 20 publicity-starved participants on the Cook Islands are segregated by race into Asian, Black, Latino and White "tribes." The stereotyping here is so egregious as to be laughable. But I am not laughing.

This is the dumbest and silliest idea in the wacked-out world of realty television. Without question, race remains our most important domestic issue, and pitting ethnic groups against one another to assert their superiority while chasing a $1 million payoff is simply pouring salt into the festering wound of the ongoing racial tension in America.

Predictably, after the once-elite CBS network announced its brainless intention to promote racial strife on national TV with this looney-tunes idea, some clever newspaper headline writers had a field day. And rightly so. To wit:

"Ethnic lensing;" "Segregated ‘Survivor‚’ new low for TV;" "What next: Germans vs. Jews?" "Race-based ‘Survivor‚’ raises ire;" "‘Survivor‚’ Shock: New shows pit ethnic groups vs. each other;" "Pols blast color-cast;" "GM is off the island, bolts racial ‘Survivor;’" and " ‘Survivor‚’ color code draws pol ire," among others.

And why would such a lame, perhaps even dangerous premise for a TV show be put forward? Especially at a tense time in the country when racial profiling has become the order of the day? Simple. The very real prospect of boosting declining ratings.

Hey, y’all, this is America. And everyone knows Americans of all races and colors love controversial entertainment--even garbage such as this.

And what could be more controversial than pitting athletic, competitive Black people against White people against Asian people against Latino people on a tropical island? And what could be more reprehensible?

Here is part of what the suits that run CBS said in a written statement addressing the new wrinkle in the struggling "Survivor" series. Try to keep a straight face while reading:

"As part of the series‚ evolution, the producers have regularly introduced new creative elements and casting structures that reflect some social issues in our culture.

"CBS fully recognizes the controversial nature of this {ethnic} format, but has full confidence in the producers and their ability to produce the program in a responsible manner.

"‘Survivor‚’ is a program that is no stranger to controversy and has always answered its critics on the screen."

CBS doesn’t address, however, what some impressionable viewers--especially those who love to emulate what they see on TV--might do as a result of the Black vs. White vs. Asian vs. Latino foolishness. Will race relations be affected? Might violence ensue in the name of racial pride? And if so, would CBS care?

My take? The best for all concerned is for the "race wars" offshoot of "Survivor" to continue falling on its ratings face and be canceled. And then cancel all the rest of those doofus "reality" shows in the name of good riddance. They are ridiculous.

Richard G. Carter, a freelance writer, is a former columnist with "The Milwaukee Journal" and the "New York Daily News."