1907-2007
Ernestine O'Bee
Funeral Director En complete:A century of Service
"Her Favorite saying, by Oscar Hammerstein, was quoted often: " A bell is not a bell until you ring it. A song is not a song until you sing it. And love was not put in our heart to stay. For love is not love until you give it away!"
Love probably defines the life of Ernestine O’Bee more than any other descriptive. Her capacity to love will be the legend she will leave for hundreds of students, thousands of families and citizens of the city of Milwaukee and the state of Wisconsin.
The role Ernestine O’Bee, has played for over fifty years, for thousands of Milwaukee families, at their time of loss, pain, and suffering, is unprecedented. She would feel herself unworthy of many of the accolades that will follow, this week. Yet for those who really know her, you will quickly understand these plaudits and acclamations are warranted and truly natural.
An Omaha, Nebraska, native, the only child of a dentist, Ernestine Singleton was born in 1907. On March 20th, she would have celebrated her 100 years old. In fact, many of us were on hand, last year, to celebrate her 99th year! When asked about a l00th Birthday Party, she consistently said, " But I have already celebrated, there is no need for another party!"
A conscientious student, she chose journalism as her professional aspiration. Beginning at the University of Michigan, when few African Americans were going to college, and even fewer women, were being admitted to top ten universities. Ernestine was advised to consider Social Work or teaching, as "Negroes" were not finding jobs in Journalism.
Working, off campus, doing "private family", she helped with housecleaning, cooking, or other menial tasks, to earn extra money toward tuition and books. She often tells the story of having twenty-five cents, of her fifty cents pay, taken away, when she ate a piece of old cornbread for lunch. With dogged determination", she persevered, and became one of the few African American woman to graduate from the University of Michigan, in early 1900’s.
After years as a professional with the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA), she was a delegate to the International Conference on Women, in Amsterdam. Her social work experience benefited young women, in Detroit, and were the skill base for what providence would soon bring.
A chance reunion, with a friend from her youth, led to a budding romance, with an established mortician, a recent widower, from Milwaukee. Marriage, an outgrowth, of this special love, brought our matriarch to Milwaukee, Wisconsin as the new bride of Emil O’Bee, with all of the duties, thereof.
Prepared to meet the public with sensitivity and beauty, Ernestine quickly recognized the need to know more about the business. Fully supported by her spouse, she returned to school for mortuary sciences. She matriculated again, in preparation for meeting the requirements of the State Board of Licensing for Funeral Directors. She remains the first female Director, licensed by the State of Wisconsin, and the first African American female to be so honored. Her work, as a member of the State Board; and, with the Wisconsin Association of Funeral Directors has been lauded and awarded, on several occasions.
Her outstanding service, in others areas of interests, are far too expansive to adequately cover in one article. However, her church, the House of Peace, the Eastern Star; the Salvation Army; North Milwaukee State Bank; Columbia Savings and Loan; Time Warner Cable; Zonta’s International; and multiple hundreds of students describe her contributions, expertise, and commitment to positive change, and community involvement, as unparalleled.
Ernestine O’Bee’s gift, purpose, and passion, however, shone brightest on a person to person level. Her business acumen is credited with making their Walnut Street, later Center Street, mortuaries, even greater successes. Her compassion, poise, grace and dignity are unquestionably the personal attributes that makes one of the most difficult experiences of life, more bearable, more comfortable, even more understandable, as she has led the funerals and grief sessions for thousands during their time of greatest despair!
The Bible reveals that women prepared the body of Jesus Christ, as he was placed into the tomb. Southern families have long had mothers, wives, or daughters present to ensure that the deceased were dressed, displayed and approved before public view. And, in the rural South, Africa, and the Caribbean, women were known to have the deceased in their homes, for public viewing by family, neighbors and friends, before the funeral and burial, typically in church cemeteries or family plots.
In Muslim cultures, even today, the women, perform the duties of preparation, before the rituals of grieving begin. So, women, as protectors, nurturers and preparers of the deceased is not a novice idea. Women, as leaders, business entrepreneurs and Directors, were the exception, however, prior to Ernestine O’Bee’s precedence setting first, in the state of Wisconsin.
Twice widowed, herself, she could have hardened her heart. She, too, has known grief, firsthand. But, she, like Mrs. Coretta Scott King, expanded her heart! She packaged all that she believed in: equality of women; civil rights and human rights for all of God’s children; the right to die with dignity, respect and family support, and they became her mission. She believed in education as a great equalizer; economic sufficiency, as a fiscal necessity; and community development, as the pinnacle of growth, all valuable ingredients in the perpetuation of the "Dream". Her handiwork is evidenced throughout the city of Milwaukee.
In her role as Funeral Director, she has officiated over the powerful and the lowly, all with professional aplomb. And, if questioned, she was a repository of Milwaukee’s African American history, dating back to the early 1950’s. Her chronicle of Milwaukee residents’, their parentage, their births, their arrivals, their children, their occupations and affiliations were unequaled. Her wit, her respect, for all, unrelenting! She was a living legend and an ever more precious jewel!
Her tenacity and determination to be healthy, useful and a dutiful servant were steadfast, even as she neared her 100th Birthday. A fall, that required hip-replacement surgery, at age 98 years, was a temporary deterrent. Yet she attended the annual Dr. Terence N. Thomas Scholarship Luncheon, to which she has been generously committed, four and a half weeks, after the surgery.
Gracious, fastidiously dressed, weak, yet determined to be present, she said, "If I Can......You Must"! The applause was thunderous! The students, so overwhelmed and moved, that their kisses, hugs and well wishes, were continuous! Her message was clear! Their commitment to her ideals was apparent.
She remained President of the Northwest Funeral Chapel, 6630 W. Hampton Avenue, with support from business partners, J.C. Frazier and William Ford, until her death. Northwest Funeral Chapel recently expanded services by opening added locations, 3412 West Center Street; and at 800 Barker Street, in Racine, Wisconsin. Before this most recent illness, Mrs. O’Bee could still be found greeting families, leading her grief program and facilitating fiscal duties, many days. She continued to attend numerous community functions; and put her stamp of approval on hundreds of projects, evidenced later, within the community.
On this day, we acknowledge and honor MILWAUKEE’S LEGEND, MRS. ERNESTINE O’Bee. We celebrate her strength, tenacity, determination, and her respect for the human condition. We celebrate her business acumen and her generosity in time, talent and experience!
She was the best of the bests, having role modeled for so many of us! And, she remained the best in the delivery of passion, compassion and respect during our most difficult times. She was abundantly blessed! And her blessings were shared with her beloved community. We will miss her, yet we are inspired to continue in her footsteps.
To the staff, and colleagues at the Northwest Funeral Chapel, continue to execute your bests, as you have done since she first began, over fifty years, ago. We applaud, salute and wish you, always, the very best of the bests!
