Promoting Family Togetherness (Part 2)
Biblical Counseling for Today’s Christian Family
by Rev. Judith T. Lester, B.Min., M.Th.
The Bible contains divine principles for good family relationships. God’s purposes for the family have been challenged, but they have not been changed. Throughout the Bible, God gives the principles and the power by which His purposes for the family can be fulfilled.
Christians are constrained to take very seriously the Word of God as it relates to the family. In our conclusion of the two-part series on family, we will first answer the question: ”What is Family Ministry,” thereafter outlining the characteristics of a healthy family.
What Is Family Ministry? Family ministry is concerned with both internal and external factors that prevent the health and welfare of families. Situations of chaos, brokenness, and pain provide for the intentional and relevant application of the gospel to family needs.
The call to the church for being and making family is rooted in the biblical witness particularly the New Testament description of the “household of faith.” Family ministry is:
• ·... ministry that equips people to survive and flourish in our society; it is ministry that strives to empower families to claim their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses, and actively create a healthy future for all families.
• ·...preventive education that prepares family members for such tasks as responsible adult living, employment, career/vocations, marriage, parenting and caring for the elderly and the young.
• ·...outreach and support to families who hurt because of physical, economic, or political deprivation and oppression.
• ·...counseling and intervention that can reconcile self-destructive attitudes and behaviors that threaten and destroy families, communities, and black people as a whole.
Characteristics of a Healthy Family
The two most important characteristics of a healthy family are respect and commitment. In healthy families, there is respect for all family members.
The family is marriage centered or, in the case of single parents, parent centered. The parents’ relationship, the marriage, or the secure autonomy of the single parent should provide members with a sense of security nurture their development and provide the family with a stable foundation.
In healthy families, there is respect for parental authority. Although children may share in the decision-making, the final decision should come from the parent(s).
Healthy parental authority promotes boundaries and limitations, prepare children for other positive authority figures in their lives and enables the nurturing of positive self-esteem.
In healthy families, conflict is resolved with respectful confrontation. Family members learn that conflict is inevitable and is an inherent, potentially positive aspect of any intimate relationship.
In healthy families, commitment is essential in nurturing the relationship. Parents are committed to each other and to the children, if any.
Parents take responsibility for their children’s upbringing, assuming the primary role in the children’s spiritual and moral development and even committing to some form of spiritual instruction in the home. In healthy families:
• ·...every member is committed to contributing. Even children have chores for which they are not paid; for chores strengthen a child’s sense of competence, responsibility, and motivation to achieve.
• ·...all members commit to being accountable for their own behavior, thereby developing a clear sense of identity and autonomy.
• ·...there is a commitment to the health and wellness of the family and its individual members.
Yes, we are our brother’s keeper. Providing family ministry in the local church is crucial in helping to rescue today’s family.
Source: Karen Jones Bernstein, A Congregational Manual for Black Family Ministry: Church & Family Together, (Judson Press, 1996).
Next Month: Our Youth
The writer does not assume responsibility in any way for readers’ efforts to apply or utilize information or recommendations made in these articles, as they may not be necessarily appropriate for every situation to which they may refer.
Rather, the objective is strictly informative and educational. If you would like to contact Rev. Lester, write to her c/o Fellowship of Love M.B.C. at P.O. Box 121, Brookfield, WI. 53008.
