Life lessons passed on to sons

by Mikel Kwaku Osei Holt
Having been named a community elder a couple of years ago, one of my responsibilities is to set an example, as well as to pass on words of wisdom, to our youth. To facilitate that responsibility, I’ve decided to publicize a draft of a letter I intended for my sons--Mykel and Adrian--for I believe it holds value to our village children.

To my sons:

An advantage you have in this discourse is that unlike your older siblings, I have evolved and matured since they were your age. When your oldest sister was a child, I was engaged in the battles that defined the civil rights movement, exploring the sexual revolution of the ’70s, and trying to ground myself educationally.

I was also beginning my career, learning the nuisances of advocacy journalism, and more importantly, refining the philosophy I was to introduce to my audience.

Your late brother had advantages you’re probably never going to realize. He accompanied me to the rallies and demonstrations, and sat at the feet of community elders and family hierarchy when they were in their prime. He learned of Africentrism and Black Nationalism first hand, and as you know, accompanied me during the defining events of my life: my first visit to the Motherland, and the Million Man March.

But you are privileged in a way that neither of your siblings can replicate, for I have matured, and prospered spiritually, culturally and financially since their upbringing. You can benefit from all I have learned since their childhood, the culmination of experiences gained during five decades of survival as a Black man in America:

Always see yourself as part of something grander than yourself.

Some people never move beyond selfishness. They never see themselves as part of something much greater than themselves, as a particle of the universe, a grain of sand on a scale of universal balance. When you realize both who and what you are, you will become part of the whole, and immortality is your reward.

A footstep in the sand can alter the course of the mighty ocean.

What you do in life can alter the fate of all of mankind. A simple act of kindness, or conversely, a criminal action can and will alter the fate of people unknown to you, of situations unrealized, or an action unseen.

Think through every response or action, pause to consider each step and direction, reflect and assess before uttering every word. Everything you do has an impact not just on your personal situation, but the world.

Realize our lives are interconnected. Even the minutest actions can impact on someone ten thousand miles away. Take heed of the African proverb that declares you are, because we are.

Few of us ever see the true reflection cast in the mirror.

Too many of us see what we want to see, instead of what is reflected back of us. Light distorts, but perceptions confuse. Understand that we rarely see the same person reflected in the mirror that others see.

Eventually, it is your deeds and actions that make up the portrait, not the image reflected in the mirror, which at best is a split second illusion.

Always put Black people first.

It is not racist to love your own, nor is it logical to put others before your own. Without igniting a religious debate, I share the belief that we are God’s true chosen people. If there were an Eden, it was located in Africa.

The first human remains were found in the Motherland. Even White anthropologists (which according to some Black people gives it the penultimate creditability) say life and civilization originated in Africa.

Thus, it stands to reason that we are God’s first creation and life evolved from us, that we have an ordained mission and purpose here on earth.

Sadly, Black self-hatred and confusion run rampant in our community. We have not only forgotten (if we knew) who we are, but the ultimate destination of our sojourn. Despite our advancements, the shadow of slavery still casts a dark cloud over most of us. We don’t respect or understand our oneness with the Supreme Being, much less why He created us, and made us so unique.

It is imperative that you continue our effort to unify our race, to move us forward, and bring to an end "our" 40-year exodus. Start by setting the example, displaying love for our race in everything you do. Buy Black to build our community; love Black to reinforce our infrastructure; promote Black to pave our future. Always remember where you go, so goes our community.

To stumble is to fall forward faster.

Some think stumbling means falling down, or losing your balance; offsetting your momentum. But stumbling--making a mistake--can also be an opportunity. Use it as a life lesson, learn from your mistakes and move forward. View your mistake as a catalyst for self-improvement.

What you think you know today, will evolve into a different reality tomorrow.

Bruce Lee, while known as a great martial artist, was also a renowned philosopher. One observation he made prior to his death has stayed with me.

To paraphrase one of his most profound observations, "when I first got into martial arts, I thought a kick was just a kick, and a punch was just a punch.

"Through study and practice, however, I quickly learned that a punch was not just a punch, and a kick was not just a kick.

"After mastering my techniques, I discovered the inherent power that comes from natural reflex and perfection. I learned that a kick was just a kick and punch was just a punch.

"Situation, experiences and circumstances will change you as you age. Clarity will come, sometimes slowly. Never close your mind, or assume things are as they now appear, for as the poem notes, in the end you will arrive at the beginning and know it for the first time."

Knowledge is power, ignorance is the absence of knowledge, and stupidity is the abuse of knowledge.

Despite what people will tell you, ignorance is not a negative, it simply means you don’t know something. Stupidity, on the other hand, is misusing or abusing that knowledge. Crime is stupidity.

Sex without birth control is stupidity. Believing there is not an equal reaction for each of your actions is stupid. Knowledge provides you with truth. Ignoring the realities of life is stupidity.

Nobody owes you anything.

To think otherwise is, well ... stupid. While I support reparations, don’t hold your breath awaiting the great White father to pay your for the sins of their ancestors.

The truth is nobody’s going to give you anything; everything you earn and achieve will come from your individual efforts, or the byproducts of efforts by those who love or respect you.

Those who feel they are owed something are generally left by the wayside. They are extending their hands out, while others are extending their hands upwards, to climb the ladder to success.

Life is a series of commas, with an occasional semicolon.

The period comes at the end, but in reality starts a new paragraph.

Religions are but branches on the same tree. God is the root.

Don’t get hung up in the debate about which religion is best, or the only truth. For there is a tread that runs through all of them that links us to God.

I’ve climbed many branches during my life, and have been empowered by various faiths and religious tenets. I’ve been accepted into the Islamic faith while in Africa, I’ve explored Deism, Christianity, and African Spiritualism.

And I’m back again to my roots in the Baptist church, primarily because that’s where I feel most comfortable and a part of a larger community of Muslims (check the real meaning of that word).

While it is necessary to be rooted, don’t confuse religion with spiritualism. It is the latter that puts you in direct contact with God; religion is but a path and a platform.

Put God first, followed by family and then community/nation.

Be suspect of anyone who tells you to reverse that order. "In the beginning was God, today is God, forever will be God. He is like the Word, once spoken is past, yet forever lingers on."

Family is your foundation, and when friends and peers turn their backs or mislead, you always have family to fall back on.

And, lastly, you are an integral part of the community, for good, bad or worse. You can never move beyond who you are. As I previously noted, you are because we are.

More next time ...
Hotep